I'm a tall, statuesque, filthy rich Mensa member with green eyes and red hair down to my, uh, never mind. Not buying it? Neither am I, unfortunately. Actually, try short, plump, blue eyes, red hair thanks to henna, definitely not rich, smart, but nowhere near Mensa standards.
I'm your typical wannabe librarian who's trying to save up money to go back to school so I can surround myself in books and documents for the rest of my natural life.